Monthly Archives: April 2013



Use it religiously for three days, thanking everyone for the adds, FollowFriday mentions, and re-tweets. Forget you have the account for a few weeks/months. Revisit it and send a sheepish apology out into the ether, promising to do better. Notice that no one responds. Resolve to make a proper go of it. 
Find yourself checking in more and more: on the train, at stop lights, in the bath. Agonize over Klout, Tweet traction, witty hashtags that don’t make it look like you’re trying too hard to be witty and whether to follow back Real Estate salespeople who are obviously just trying to sell you timeshare. 
Begin to feel trapped, smothered, some kind of technological chump chained to his iPhone day and night, Instagramming photos of sunsets and particularly delicious meals. Rage over other people’s stupid Tweets, made up only of @mentions and #hashtags, jammed together illegibly. Have a small and utterly post-millennial breakdown. Do some Yoga (not the hot kind) Consider hiring an intern to Tweet for you. Tell people you are taking a social media break, but schedule a bunch of Tweets for while you’re away anyway, because you are serious about social media. 
#WelcomeToTwitter #IMayBeProjectingHere